February 16, 2011

It is 4 in the morning. Time for a story!

Greetings my fellow humans, 
            Tonight was a strange night in which I, Vernin, traveled close to downtown Denver to visit a friend of mine in the old Gates Rubber factory. A nice home he had indeed, but the foxes made it a troublesome journey home. 
They will try to talk to you, but the best thing to do is just run. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
But hey, I am a rat and this doesn't really apply to you at all. 

           So I believe it is time for a short story. But it is not I who will tell this tale. I give you, my friend Lain:

Hmm...such a fine collection of cigarette butts...
Oh! How rude of me! I'm supposed to be telling you guys a story!
Well, okay then. It's a short story about a sentient being by the name of Florian...

Far, far away in the Seas of Despair and Longing lies the lab of Prof. Nezumi.
Here is where he mastered the field of robotics without anyone's knowledge. 
Receiving money from his close friends - Fritz Hilpert and Ralf Hütter - he was free to run his experiments far from humanity. 
Professor Nezumi at Otakon
(photo taken in 1994)

On October 6th, 2003, Nezumi reached a critical breakthrough in which he summoned the spirit of Iboga. With it's permission he was able to install the spirit The Wired. Iboga was free to travel the web. He most enjoyed bidding for Weevils on Ebay.

(The Wired is a creation of Nezumi's. It was able to take objects and put them into the digital realm)

This was not enough for Iboga though. He wanted also to explore the earth in a physical form. 
Operation Puppeteer began on that day - Dec. 28, 2003. 
( Spiffy after a long night in the KC opium dens )
With the help of his most trusted friend Spiffy, Nezumi was able to create the boy he had always wanted. And now with Iboga desperately searching for a vessel, he also had a soul to insert into one of his android proto-types. 
It was unsure whether or not Iboga would integrate with the AI already created for the body. But being a very impatient spirit, Iboga refused to wait for Nezumi's tests and prompted to be integrated with the android immediately. 

Florian was created that night. He tells Nezumi that he has chosen a name for himself and would like to participate in electronica dance competitions. 
Before he could be stopped from leaving the laboratory, he flies to Mobile, Alabama to live as a drunk, assembly-line worker. 
"I thought he was the best little worker since Brett Garrison. Nobody was better at getting the vending machines un-jammed either...I miss that bastard with all my shit." 
-Factory Owner, Mr. Hikashi speaks about his experiences with Florian.

So many things happened in the short time of Florian's existence. It is truly impossible to go into detail. And because not many people knew him, there are barely any accounts of his life at all. 

But here are some things that I do know:

In 2007 he installed Windows and became Highly unstable. Shortly thereafter he proceeded to destroy a small   village in Peru. The casualties were small, but the damage was estimated in the four dollar range. 

He participated in a scaled down reenactment of Pearl Harbor in 2008. You can see Florian standing at the sandbags above. It was his duty to throw the cherry bombs. 

In 2010 he fused with a moth and an Apache chief to become Glorian. 
But the fusion would not last. He became too powerful and thus became weak overtime. 
With the combination of this fusion and an addiction to microwavable tamales, he died of an orgasm in late July of that year. He left behind a the most extensive collection of Rocko's Modern Life memorabilia that there ever was. 

Oh my god I am so messed up! I sincerely hope it did not impair my ability to bring you the great story of Florian. If it did, then I am sorry! ^^ 
Well I must leave, Vernin hates it if I talk to much on his blog...
...I'll leave you with this picture.

          I hope you enjoyed Lain's story. She may tell more in the future. Her story telling is really the best I think. 

Tune in next time where I blog about my pet moss. It doesn't have a name yet, but it is growing comfortably in an attractive jar. 

This is Vernin The Rat, signing off to watch my favorite character, Data. 
Rats off to ya!


  1. I love jay and silent bob. Nice animated pic. :)

  2. Lmfao rats off to ya too!

  3. thx for the share, very funny pics

  4. Really gotta be careful with those orgasms.

  5. Spiffy reminds me of the mouse from American Dad. "Cheezers came back."

  6. awesome man nothing else to say really good job!!